Of Alcohol, Accents and Amazing Things Mexicans Point Out….

I wrote a rebuttal a while back to Non-Euclidean Sofa about systemic racism….In that post…I explained a little bit about my family…If you read it… you know that my sisters married Mexicans….Conservative Mexicans…which are great…because they really dislike illegal immigrants…. among other things….

None of them speak Spanish…one of them can’t even pronounce his last name ….another one can’t eat ketchup because it’s too spicy (I’m not fucking kidding…he literally sweats..)…and all of their families were in the US before my family came over LEGALLY from the Czech Republic… If you spoke with one of them on the phone…you wouldn’t know they were even Mexican….

 

That is… until you get tequila into those fuckers…..

 

What is it that makes Mexicans… who can’t even say guacamole … huwahcamole…. develop thick ass accents when they drink tequila…?? And I’m talking Cheech Marin thick….I don’t get it… I have drank my entire body weight in Pilsner… in one night… on more than one occasion and I never developed a Bohemian accent from it… Is there something in tequila that I don’t know about…??.. What’s in it that makes women get naked and Mexicans say Odelay every other word…?? I don’t know…but in my opinion that’s a good reason to stay away from that shit….Especially since the Mexicans in my family can’t explain it either…

 

They did manage to enlighten me on accents though…. and I swear… only a Mexican would notice something like this….

If you watch the news…especially in California… chances are most of the reporters are Mexican… They speak perfect English…not even the hint of an accent….They will ramble on like the whitest person in the area…until….they say their name….

That’s when the thick accent rears its’ head again…Now unless the most amazing editing has taken place… and they cut.. so the reporter could suck down a shot of Patron…squeeze a lime wedge into her mouth and wipe the leftover salt from her chin…and resumed filming….. without anyone noticing….( I say her because after you read this..and start paying attention…you’ll notice it’s mostly female reporters that do this..)….. before she says her name… there is no reason for the accent…..

I asked my brother in law about this and he pointed out something I would have never noticed…..and it went something like this….

“It’s a pride thing…that they still want to hold on to their heritage…but only when it suits them….If you listen closely…they will only pronounce someone’s name properly (meaning with an accent) if that person hasn’t committed a crime… If they are reporting on another Mexican that has been arrested or is on the run they will say the name with an American accent….only to pronounce their own name like they are reporting straight from the barrio….”

And he’s right… This is something I have noticed for months now…. Pay attention and you will notice it as well….

 

Now…if only we could get the white reporters to speak with Mexican accents when they pronounce the names of white criminals………

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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