Why I Am Changing Halloween To Remember Michael Jackson Day….

Halloween….The day when the kiddos (young and old) dress up and take to the streets with one goal in mind…

Get as much candy as humanely possible…..

Before I climb upon my soapbox…. I’m going to (out of the kindness of my heart) give you guys some trick or treating advice…. Bring two giant pillowcases for each kid….

Here’s why…

It takes a long time to fill up a pillowcase… When people answer their doors and see that your kids are carrying a bag that is not very full….they tend to give them more candy…. Now…if you switch the partially filled pillowcase out for the empty pillowcase towards the end of the night…. people will think that you as parents are assholes for giving your kids such a late start and they’ll give them even more candy……

 

See…. you’re tricking them into feeling sorry for your kid and because of this you as a parent getting more treats….(admit it…you eat their candy when they’re asleep)… Two birds…one stone…..

Oh how I wish my parents would have thought of this when I was a kid….

Alright…. enough advice…. Now onto the real reason for this post……

Halloween is ruined…. Identity politics and the fear of being guilty of cultural appropriation is the reason for this… You cannot dress your kid up as anything other than an inanimate object (except for corn pops) without pissing someone off……

This morning I saw that one of the Kardashians dressed up as Michael Jackson….. Why is that ok..??… Why isn’t everyine freaking out about this..???….. Personally…I don’t give a shit what you dress up as…. It’s Halloween……

All of this bullshit got me thinking about Michael Jackson… No one ever accused him of cultural appropriation…. Was it because he was originally black..??.. Probably not…. I’m pretty sure it was because most white people don’t give a shit about cultural appropriation….(except for the virtue signaling lunatics)…..We understand that Halloween is about not being who you are…and dressing up is usually a form of flattery…not racism…..

One thing’s for certain…. the Kardashian costume made me start thinking about Michael Jackson……and how he brought people together……

Michael Jackson along with 36 other singers came together to sing “We Are The World” back in 1985….. It was a hit…. Singers from all backgrounds came together and united the world…. No one cared about race…gender…political differences…. They just came together…..

Wouldn’t it be nice to see the 37  “culturally inappropriate” costumes lined up  in the middle of every costume shop in the world together…holding hands….. as the Michael Jackson costume moonwalks out in front of them… dry humps the air….lets out a “HeeHee” and leads them in a new song which starts like this……

 

“YOU CAN DRESS UP AS ME….IT DON’T MATTER IF YOUR BLACK OR WHITE”……….

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